Untying Knots

The book, The Weird Sisters, has a line near the end of the book:  ...We had not realized, until that moment, how much Rose gave up for us, and it was up to her to reach down to the ground and untie herself in order to float free to the sky...

I cried when I read that. 

Rose is the sister who made sure everything turned out okay for everyone else, made sure that the other sisters had enough to eat, and proper clothes and handled all the emergencies.

I totally identified with her.  Through the whole book I was willing her to SEE that she had taken on that role and she could walk away.... But she didn't realize it herself until one day, she did something with no reference to anyone else, not sure she could do it... And it set her free.

I understand her insecurity with this idea that her sisters and parents were grown ups and they would manage without her.  What do you DO with yourself when your life is actually your own?

How do you live your life when you decide that YOU matter too -not as the solution to a problem, but because you simply are.  Your purpose is to be.  Your life is yours to live.

You are the only one who can live it.  You are the only one who knows whatever the song is in your heart and you are the only one who can do all the scary things it takes to live in the truth that you matter too.  The song in your heart matters because it is Your Song, unique among all universes.

This untetheredness is not comfortable.  Freedom is freakin scary, actually.  When it occurred to me that I can, quite literally, do anything with my life I want to, move anywhere, take on almost any job, the sheer number of choices brought me to my knees.

I am free.

No excuses for not living the life God has planned for me.

I have managed to undo the knot.