Just Start

I had a really strange dream, and since it is sticking with me, you get to hear about it, too.

I was house hunting, and there was a gorgeous condo on a beach.  I wanted to walk out to the beach, so left all my stuff sitting in a bundle on top of a counter, and went outside.

The beach was huge, and crowded.  I wanted to get close to the water where there were fewer people, but as I approached, realized that there was a drop-off before you got to the water.

So, I'm standing there at the ledge, looking around to see how the folks who were playing in the water got down there.  A man was right below me, and he said, "Well? Come on down!"

I said, "How? It's a straight drop."

He said, "Just start down. You'll see."

I then thought, wow, I've left my stuff alone a long time, I ought to get back and check on it. I left my iPod sitting on top.

The man said, "No one is going to mess with your stuff. Are you coming down or what?" then he turned around and ignored me and was watching the ocean.

Okay, so, I scooted to the very edge, and slid off, thinking if nothing else maybe the sand wouldn't be too hard when I hit.  Except it was like surfing down, and there I was and the guy was laughing and said, "See? How do you even describe that? You just have to do it to understand it."

As we sat there watching the ocean, I said, "Why aren't there more people here? Why are they all up there?"

He shrugged, "That's where they want to be.  Sometimes people don't want to get too close.  Sometimes they can't see the way, so they stop."

All of a sudden, I felt really weird... I looked around and all the people were so shiny and happy, and suddenly I was aware that I was not dressed right and too big and too chubby and too sad and too worried and right there in the dream, I wanted, like, all the Snickers bars in the world.

And the guy cocked his head and looked at me, "You know, the only person you are hurting with that is yourself. And you ARE hurting yourself.  Please stop that."

He was looking right at me, and he wasn't mad, he looked, well, compassionate but serious.  He wasn't upset.  He just wanted to make sure I was paying attention.

Then we watched the ocean for a long time, not speaking, just perfectly comfortable with each other.

Then I said, "I should probably go back up and finish looking around."

He nodded.

I said, "How do I get back up?"

He gave a grin like, You still don't get it, huh? and said, "Just. Start."