in-Between-The-Spains Post

So, I've been given an extraordinary amount of time to think the past three weeks, almost an unprecedented amount of time for such activity, really.  It has been a really nice time to just hang out with God, even with the extra coughing and sleeping lately.

And I have reached a few prayerful conclusions.

This past year was a struggle in unexpected ways.  I had made the decision to seek work outside of Flagstaff, and thus limited a few things in my life, including swearing off dating back in March.  Why meet new people if I'm just going to move, you know? I was sick a lot, injured a lot, dealing with some heavy work stuff frequently.  I was overloaded.

So, having some new clarity and peace, I have realized a few things.

First, I'm not going anywhere any time soon.  So, I have to make my life here work for me, just like I had to three years ago when my boss stubbornly refused to let me relocate my position to Phoenix. (I'm very glad, in retrospect, that happened. Best blessing ever.)  Every single amazing job I have investigated over the past year dissipated through various God's Hand ways.

So, I'm here for a purpose.  Flagstaff is not an easy town to live in if you are not from here and are over the age of 30.  But, God brought me here and is keeping me here and until He leads me someplace else (if ever) then this is my home.  I love Flagstaff on so many levels, but sometimes the loneliness is palpable for us single adults.  Still, I'm here, and the only thing I can change is me, so I resolve to actually change a few things.

I've made a few decisions about healthy living but I will give that another blog post once I suss out the details with my team.

The big get-out-of-my-comfort-zone decision is to live like I am actually a part of the Flagstaff community.  I'm not, really.  I'm part of the university community, but that is a very different thing.  But I have some truly wonderful friends here and in general love the people here.  So, I resolve to join some interesting meet up groups, say yes to any and all invitations, keep an eye out for stuff I want to do and then go do it even if I'm doing it by myself.

I did it in Spain.  I can do it in Flagstaff.

So far in this country adult women are not required to have escorts or travel in groups, so I will not allow myself to chicken out of something just because I'd rather be with a friend.  Or to feel sorry for myself for going to Yet Another Thing Alone Because I Couldn't Find Anyone To Go With Me.  It is wearying to always do stuff alone.  But I'm done with feeling sorry for myself about it.

The other decision is to thoughtfully plan out my vacation so I actually use it before I mentally crack up from overwork.  Even if it is just to take a long weekend to work on a sewing project or something, I need mental health time.

These activities aren't a means to a particular goal, except to get the most out of this time we have on earth, before we move to a different room in God's house.