Love and the Word No

I'm in love with a wonderful man who is in love with me.  FB friends are regularly treated to the sight of two middle-aged people swooning over each other. No dignity, I tell you.

Before I posted this, I got Rob's permission because this is super personal stuff that involves him.  But, well, it is real and possibly will help someone, somewhere, maybe.

On with the story:

One of the many things we have in common is a commitment to Jesus through our faith.  We both are rabidly Catholic, and in the course of discussing Marriage and Building a Life Together, we confronted two things that every couple has to be on the same page about:  Sex and Children.

From the Get-Go, we declared our mutual intention to Wait Until Marriage.  This is a firmly held value for both of us.  We understand that no one except possibly my overly-interested family gives a rat's fluffy behind about this.  This actually makes it more difficult.  I mean, when you are only answering to your own conscience, it is easy to flip that switch sometimes.

Given that I have the willpower of a crumbling cracker, and he has been married before, we both made the promise to try to be strong for each other.

As an aside, I knew I wanted to marry him when I realized I could tell him anything, absolutely anything, and it didn't change his love for me.

But I knew I would walk through fire for him when the following happened:

I was visiting him in Tennessee.  We were all curled up together, all cozy and happy and lovey-dovey.  He made a joke about sex.  I smiled and said, "Okay, let's go for it."

He looked at me, "I thought you wanted to wait!"

"Yeah, but we don't have to.  I love you."

I was looking right in his eyes.  I could see his thoughts spinning and his jaw sort of make that chewing motion that it does when he is thinking about something really hard.  Then he exhaled and said, "No.  I made a promise to you.  I keep my promises.  I love you too much to rush this."

Of course, then I just wanted him more.  You know how they talk about in books that your heart swells up and you feel like you are going to just burst with love and suddenly you are running through flowery meadows...?  Just like that, without the pollen.

I knew at that moment, we really belonged to each other.  I knew I could trust his integrity, that he would look out for me when I forgot to look out for myself.  I knew that I will forever be safe with him, because he carries me in his great big heart. 

This kind, supersmart, strong, loving, thoughtful man blesses my life with his presence every day.  I feel cherished and honored every single moment, and hope that I will live up to being the kind of wife such a good man deserves.

And I know what we are building together is worth the wait.