...it is not by the sword or the spear that the Lord saves...1Sam 17:47

I will dance and resist and dance and persist and dance. This heartbeat is louder than death. “ — Suheir Hammad

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Bloom Where You're Planted

As usual during jail ministry, the lessons we discuss with the inmates turn out to be the ones we most need to hear ourselves.

After sharing the Sunday readings, we ended up discussing the New Testament reading from Colossians the most.  As we discussed with the ladies the choice before them, to use their time in jail as preparation for their life when they get out, or to simply mark time, one of the women said, "whatever brought us here, God wills that we are here, so we kind of have to bloom where we are planted."  We talked about thanking God in all our circumstances, even the ones we don't want and even actively resist.

Boy, was THAT a cold bucket of truth to dunk in.

Wherever we find ourselves, there is a reason.  If we are trying desperately to leave, but still find ourselves there, there is a reason.

It is no secret that I feel the circumstances of my life here have changed to the point I'm practically desperate to leave.  Yet, I am still here.  Many job interviews later, I am still here.

Still.  Here.

I can mark time, or make the most of it. I can be angry and resentful, or I can thank God for having a decent job, dear friends, and many creature comforts.

What I have been doing is mostly complaining, worrying, grasping at straws, winding myself up, and feeling rather wretched rather often. That did not get me relocated any faster.

So, here I am, feeling like all I did this past year was mark time. Probably that really is what I did.  I can't see any area of my life that I improved appreciably.  I haven't gone the extra mile to improve my mind or health or finances. I have not made extra effort to develop relationships.

A year from now, even if everything goes to complete hell, I would like to look back and be able to say I Tried.  Maybe I wasn't successful, but I gave my life everything I had in me.  I did not just watch the year go by.

Bloom where I'm planted.

2 comments:

  1. I am amazed how those in circumstances much more challenging than my own have more faith than I do most days. This is a very beautiful reflection, and a message I have to embrace myself :)

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    1. I write mostly to remind myself of who I really am, away from the raw emotions and crazy behavior of others. I need to have reminders that every single action is a choice. I can choose a Way that is centered on Christ and bring His love into it, or a way that is centered on things of this world -which isn't just "stuff, but also power, greed, manipulation, raw emotion.

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