Everyone knows someone who seems chronically angry. No matter what adversity they face, the go-to emotion seems to be anger.
I get that. I was like that for a long time. Anger made me feel powerful and in charge... unlike sadness, which made me feel pathetic, or hurt, which made me feel weak.
Most negative emotions left unchecked can build walls between people... Sadness can shove people away. The unhappy person builds a wall between herself and others. Anger not only shoves people away, but causes the shoved person to build their side of the wall.
Let's face it, the Great Wall of China was not built to keep out the chronically depressed northerners.
Anger isn't a primary emotion. Anger is a reactive emotion. You start with another emotion and it moves to anger. Shock, sadness, anxiety and shame can all move quickly to anger.
The reality is that anger is no more powerful than any other emotion, but left uncontrolled it can destroy love so much faster than anything else. I've witnessed this anger drive families apart -children from parents, spouses from each other, best friends.
Nobody wanted it or intended it, but that is simply what that anger does.
It took some pretty intense work on my part and some divine intervention from Jesus for me to stop using anger as my default mode and just FEEL my feelings. Learning that Feeling weak, pathetic, sad, frustrated, ashamed, or overwhelmed does not have to lead to me picking a fight or throwing a temper tantrum took a while.
I'm thinking about this today because I had an encounter yesterday with someone who also seems to struggle with anger. He was disappointed, but what radiated from him was anger. Since I was the focal point, I was paying attention and silently calling on God to bring calm to the situation, which He did.
But I've been fighting him in my head since then, and working on the foundation for my side of the wall.
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