Back in the Gym, Some Tears, Some Smiles

So, this morning I went to the killer yoga cardio crazy class.  This is the first time I've stepped foot in my gym on my own in about two weeks.  I kept my appointments with my trainer (a couple times only barely) but offset those with lots of mac 'n' cheese.

Still, I was ready to return.

When I got to class one of my gym friends said she'd missed me and asked where I'd been.  I shrugged and said I'd been sick, so had been taking it easy.  She said, "Oh, I'm sorry, was it that crud that was going around?"

And I decided to be honest, "No, it wasn't that kind of ill.  Depression kind of took over and I just couldn't make it."

I fully expected an awkward silence followed by an equally awkward, "Well, good to see you!" as she rushed away.

What I got was a tilt of her head, a nod and then she said, "I get that.  Did you miss work, too?"

Oh. I didn't scare her off. Okay.

We chatted for a few more minutes before class started and I could feel the tears welling up in me, and how freeing it was to just say, "yeah, my big accomplishment was leaving the house this last weekend, and it was SO HARD but I did it anyway," and have someone understand, and not shy away from it or be afraid of the tears or try to fix it or give advice -to just be with me in the simple acknowledgement of a difficult fact of my life.  She smiled encouragingly and said she was glad that I am back.

The class started and the tears mixed up with the sweat and eventually dried up and I got a great workout in.

I am grateful my life is getting back on track.  I was especially grateful this morning for those few quiet words and the encouraging smile.