I had breakfast with a friend this morning as we planned out our part of a retreat we are doing with our jail ministry on Saturday. She shared this story:
They were on a mission trip to Sudan. Before crossing the border from Uganda, they spent the night in Arua, on the border, a small city of about 60,000 people.
One gentleman on the trip had a bit of a special hope. He had been a refugee from Sudan, had been separated from his mother during the war, and had not seen her in many years. He had requested a bit of time while they were in Arua to see if he could find out information on his mother and where she might be. The trip leader, understandably hesitant to have the group split up, said, you can have three hours in the afternoon.
When the group arrived in Arua, the hotel had given their rooms away to another organization that was having a conference. So they had to find another place to spend the night.
The search for another place to stay ate up any time the man would have had to search for his mother.
Finally, a hotel was located with enough rooms for everyone, and they drove over to that part of town.
Can you imagine how that poor man must have felt, his one chance to find out what happened to his mom leached away by a stupid mistake?
As they pulled into the hotel parking lot... there she was... his mom, just standing there.
Let that sink in. His mom. Standing there. She could have been anywhere in that entire part of the world. Standing right there.
I can only imagine what that reunion looked like -neither person expecting to see the other person, having given up hope - then BAM, a miracle. A pure miracle.
Yup.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
AWESOME
I had written a blog that was pensive and thoughtful, but I'm in a really great mood, so I'm putting that one in the fridge and just saying:
WOW IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY!
There is no readily apparent reason for this. I woke up in a good mood, and it has pretty much stuck. Nothing hurts unduly, I'm able to walk normally and I totally CRUSHED my workout this morning.
WOW IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY!
There is no readily apparent reason for this. I woke up in a good mood, and it has pretty much stuck. Nothing hurts unduly, I'm able to walk normally and I totally CRUSHED my workout this morning.
(My trainer took this photo. This represents a LOT of squats!)
You wanna know why I was so thrilled? Every single time I work out, I have to pause for a minute and think... okay, how is my back today, is it weak or unsteady, are my feet numb, blahblahblah... Is the asthma acting up, or is the breathing good? That all plays into what I can do. If my back feels weak, it becomes an "arm" day or just treadmill and core. If my feet are numb, everything progresses much slower. A bad asthma day can shut it all down completely.
There is no predictability.
Everything worked fine today. I could do everything I wanted to do. I worked out hard enough I got wobbly and had to drink my green shake before I even got ready for work. That hardly ever happens any more!
WOW IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY!
and if you need more to smile at ... here is Roxy.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Just Start
I had a really strange dream, and since it is sticking with me, you get to hear about it, too.
I was house hunting, and there was a gorgeous condo on a beach. I wanted to walk out to the beach, so left all my stuff sitting in a bundle on top of a counter, and went outside.
The beach was huge, and crowded. I wanted to get close to the water where there were fewer people, but as I approached, realized that there was a drop-off before you got to the water.
So, I'm standing there at the ledge, looking around to see how the folks who were playing in the water got down there. A man was right below me, and he said, "Well? Come on down!"
I said, "How? It's a straight drop."
He said, "Just start down. You'll see."
I then thought, wow, I've left my stuff alone a long time, I ought to get back and check on it. I left my iPod sitting on top.
The man said, "No one is going to mess with your stuff. Are you coming down or what?" then he turned around and ignored me and was watching the ocean.
Okay, so, I scooted to the very edge, and slid off, thinking if nothing else maybe the sand wouldn't be too hard when I hit. Except it was like surfing down, and there I was and the guy was laughing and said, "See? How do you even describe that? You just have to do it to understand it."
As we sat there watching the ocean, I said, "Why aren't there more people here? Why are they all up there?"
He shrugged, "That's where they want to be. Sometimes people don't want to get too close. Sometimes they can't see the way, so they stop."
All of a sudden, I felt really weird... I looked around and all the people were so shiny and happy, and suddenly I was aware that I was not dressed right and too big and too chubby and too sad and too worried and right there in the dream, I wanted, like, all the Snickers bars in the world.
And the guy cocked his head and looked at me, "You know, the only person you are hurting with that is yourself. And you ARE hurting yourself. Please stop that."
He was looking right at me, and he wasn't mad, he looked, well, compassionate but serious. He wasn't upset. He just wanted to make sure I was paying attention.
Then we watched the ocean for a long time, not speaking, just perfectly comfortable with each other.
Then I said, "I should probably go back up and finish looking around."
He nodded.
I said, "How do I get back up?"
He gave a grin like, You still don't get it, huh? and said, "Just. Start."
I was house hunting, and there was a gorgeous condo on a beach. I wanted to walk out to the beach, so left all my stuff sitting in a bundle on top of a counter, and went outside.
The beach was huge, and crowded. I wanted to get close to the water where there were fewer people, but as I approached, realized that there was a drop-off before you got to the water.
So, I'm standing there at the ledge, looking around to see how the folks who were playing in the water got down there. A man was right below me, and he said, "Well? Come on down!"
I said, "How? It's a straight drop."
He said, "Just start down. You'll see."
I then thought, wow, I've left my stuff alone a long time, I ought to get back and check on it. I left my iPod sitting on top.
The man said, "No one is going to mess with your stuff. Are you coming down or what?" then he turned around and ignored me and was watching the ocean.
Okay, so, I scooted to the very edge, and slid off, thinking if nothing else maybe the sand wouldn't be too hard when I hit. Except it was like surfing down, and there I was and the guy was laughing and said, "See? How do you even describe that? You just have to do it to understand it."
As we sat there watching the ocean, I said, "Why aren't there more people here? Why are they all up there?"
He shrugged, "That's where they want to be. Sometimes people don't want to get too close. Sometimes they can't see the way, so they stop."
All of a sudden, I felt really weird... I looked around and all the people were so shiny and happy, and suddenly I was aware that I was not dressed right and too big and too chubby and too sad and too worried and right there in the dream, I wanted, like, all the Snickers bars in the world.
And the guy cocked his head and looked at me, "You know, the only person you are hurting with that is yourself. And you ARE hurting yourself. Please stop that."
He was looking right at me, and he wasn't mad, he looked, well, compassionate but serious. He wasn't upset. He just wanted to make sure I was paying attention.
Then we watched the ocean for a long time, not speaking, just perfectly comfortable with each other.
Then I said, "I should probably go back up and finish looking around."
He nodded.
I said, "How do I get back up?"
He gave a grin like, You still don't get it, huh? and said, "Just. Start."
Friday, July 25, 2014
Happy Life
The best part of working for a university is the opportunity to develop an intellectual life. Cultural events, lectures, exhibitions and more are all at your fingertips. On any given day, I can learn about constellations or opera or border politics.
Last night I attended a lecture on Happiness. What makes for a Happy Life? How do we even begin to define Happiness?
We explored the world of the ancient Greek philosophers, moving into modern psychology.
I found it all fascinating.
The upshot is that one of the primary factors in being happy is having healthy relationships and a sense of community. Other listed factors were physical vitality, an active life, time to do things you enjoy, and a few other things.
It struck me over the last few days that over the last year I have slipped into habits that are making me unhappy. Once again, I find that I have pushed down everything else in my life to make room for excessive work. I'm letting the stress get to me. The stress, now that it has taken over so much, leaves me so drained at the end of the day that I go home and veg out, playing on the computer or even just staring into space, falling asleep and doing it all again the next day. Just like I wrote about in my manifesto about 4 years ago now.
And it doesn't have to be like that. Not at all.
I remember how hard those baby steps were. I remember feeling weird and stupid in a gym. I remember having to talk myself out of eating fast food. I remember being tired ALL the time and every small thing taking so much effort. I remember cringing at the price of personal training and gym memberships and real food. I remember feeling like I wasn't worth the effort.
#5 resolution in that manifesto was: Tell people who love me and will support me what my goals are, so when it all seems pointless, they can lovingly remind me that I am worth the time, effort and expense it takes to lead a healthy life.
So I am reminding MYSELF, because I love me and will support me, I am worth the time, effort and expense it takes to live a healthy life.
-and you are, too, in case you were wondering.
Last night I attended a lecture on Happiness. What makes for a Happy Life? How do we even begin to define Happiness?
We explored the world of the ancient Greek philosophers, moving into modern psychology.
I found it all fascinating.
The upshot is that one of the primary factors in being happy is having healthy relationships and a sense of community. Other listed factors were physical vitality, an active life, time to do things you enjoy, and a few other things.
It struck me over the last few days that over the last year I have slipped into habits that are making me unhappy. Once again, I find that I have pushed down everything else in my life to make room for excessive work. I'm letting the stress get to me. The stress, now that it has taken over so much, leaves me so drained at the end of the day that I go home and veg out, playing on the computer or even just staring into space, falling asleep and doing it all again the next day. Just like I wrote about in my manifesto about 4 years ago now.
And it doesn't have to be like that. Not at all.
I remember how hard those baby steps were. I remember feeling weird and stupid in a gym. I remember having to talk myself out of eating fast food. I remember being tired ALL the time and every small thing taking so much effort. I remember cringing at the price of personal training and gym memberships and real food. I remember feeling like I wasn't worth the effort.
#5 resolution in that manifesto was: Tell people who love me and will support me what my goals are, so when it all seems pointless, they can lovingly remind me that I am worth the time, effort and expense it takes to lead a healthy life.
So I am reminding MYSELF, because I love me and will support me, I am worth the time, effort and expense it takes to live a healthy life.
-and you are, too, in case you were wondering.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Looking For Jack Kerouac
I got this book for free at the American Library Association Conference. Normally, this isn't my thing, especially since it is classified as a "young adult" novel. The main character is a high school football player. Not my cup of tea.
However, while trapped inside a metal box a couple miles above the Earth's surface barreling through the air for a few hours, I figured I'd give it a chance.
I was captivated from the outset. The main character grows up in an Indiana steel town and after the death of his mom while he was a senior in high school feels disconnected with life as he knew it. One day he takes off with a friend and hitchhikes to Florida to try to locate and meet Jack Kerouac, whose novel, "On the Road" inspired millions and is considered leading voice in the Beat generation.
Forget all that! This novel spoke so sparingly and truthfully about figuring out how your life is meant to be different, finding your own way apart from family and friends... and then how he found the way to his own home.
Ultimately, it is about listening to the truth within you and understanding that the framework around you -your friends, family, lovers, religion, location- are pieces of the puzzle, but not the answer. People can remind you who you are, and also who you never want to be.
There were no stereotypes so common in young adult novels. No shiny football star, no glossy cheerleader, no overbearing parents. You were led into a very real world of flawed, loving, caring, and sometimes stupid people.
Perhaps this novel spoke to me more deeply because of the transitions in life in which I am finding myself yet again. When I was a teenager, I wanted Out so badly I skipped a year of high school to do it. It took me decades to figure out I was defining myself through other people.
When I finished the book, I wanted to hug all of the characters and felt a bit displaced when I reoriented to the fact I had been immersed in a work of fiction.
Those are the best kind of books of all.
However, while trapped inside a metal box a couple miles above the Earth's surface barreling through the air for a few hours, I figured I'd give it a chance.
I was captivated from the outset. The main character grows up in an Indiana steel town and after the death of his mom while he was a senior in high school feels disconnected with life as he knew it. One day he takes off with a friend and hitchhikes to Florida to try to locate and meet Jack Kerouac, whose novel, "On the Road" inspired millions and is considered leading voice in the Beat generation.
Forget all that! This novel spoke so sparingly and truthfully about figuring out how your life is meant to be different, finding your own way apart from family and friends... and then how he found the way to his own home.
Ultimately, it is about listening to the truth within you and understanding that the framework around you -your friends, family, lovers, religion, location- are pieces of the puzzle, but not the answer. People can remind you who you are, and also who you never want to be.
There were no stereotypes so common in young adult novels. No shiny football star, no glossy cheerleader, no overbearing parents. You were led into a very real world of flawed, loving, caring, and sometimes stupid people.
Perhaps this novel spoke to me more deeply because of the transitions in life in which I am finding myself yet again. When I was a teenager, I wanted Out so badly I skipped a year of high school to do it. It took me decades to figure out I was defining myself through other people.
When I finished the book, I wanted to hug all of the characters and felt a bit displaced when I reoriented to the fact I had been immersed in a work of fiction.
Those are the best kind of books of all.
Monday, July 7, 2014
No Reason Needed
"One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving." - Paul Coelho
Paul Coelho is getting a lot of traction with his various books. I admit he isn't my fav author, but he always has thought-provoking ideas.
It's a game lovers play, isn't it?
"I love you because..."
"I love you." "Why do you love me?"
(This does beat my current fav game: I Love you More...)
Even when I was a little kid, I never really understood how to articulate reasons for love. I just loved. When people told me they loved me, I never asked why. Love seemed too big a mystery. I mean, God loved me so completely, and I had never done anything to deserve it. Love was love. Love stayed awake in the night to chase off the monsters. Love shared a candy bar. Love stood up for you on the playground.
As a grown-up, I understand more about building connections and it is fun to tell the people you love the things you enjoy about them.
But I still agree with Mr. Coelho. There is no reason needed for loving.
Paul Coelho is getting a lot of traction with his various books. I admit he isn't my fav author, but he always has thought-provoking ideas.
It's a game lovers play, isn't it?
"I love you because..."
"I love you." "Why do you love me?"
(This does beat my current fav game: I Love you More...)
Even when I was a little kid, I never really understood how to articulate reasons for love. I just loved. When people told me they loved me, I never asked why. Love seemed too big a mystery. I mean, God loved me so completely, and I had never done anything to deserve it. Love was love. Love stayed awake in the night to chase off the monsters. Love shared a candy bar. Love stood up for you on the playground.
As a grown-up, I understand more about building connections and it is fun to tell the people you love the things you enjoy about them.
But I still agree with Mr. Coelho. There is no reason needed for loving.
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