Got some scary news. As you may know, my back has a tendency to go out. I finally found out why (my spine has decided it has done enough work for one lifetime) and we are deciding on different courses of treatment.
I'm VERY grateful my brother went to med school for all those years just for me. Right now I am marvelling at God providing me my own personal consultant on this matter -as he happens to be a spine surgeon.
I visited my chiro yesterday for an adjustment after my amazing trip to Philly. I filled him in on what the latest doctor's opinion was, and said I was going to see another surgeon in PHX that my brother recommended. My chiro said, "You know, brothers are always overcautious and want to believe the very best at all times..." hinting that it is pretty much pointless to go see the second surgeon. I just cocked my head and said, "You know, out of the SIX medical professionals involved in this right now, only ONE has ever taken a beating for me. So he is the one I know, no matter what, is thinking about what is best for me."
This is all scary to me. I have more questions than answers and lots of people throwing opinions and advice and telling me about how miracles are always possible and no one can really predict the course of things, etc. ad nauseum.
What I know and experience every single day is the agony I call "The First Five Steps Out of Bed" followed by "Accidentally Landing on My Left Foot Too Hard."
As I was telling my trainer about my new set of limitations, I could FEEL the fear like a creeping spider weaving its web around my brain.
As I started my car to head in to work, a song by Casting Crowns was on the radio, and this was the exact line it started on:
And the Voice of Truth tells me a different story,
And the Voice of Truth says, Do Not Be Afraid.
And the Voice of Truth say, This is for My glory;
out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.
So. I will not be afraid. And no matter how this all turns out in the next few months and years, this is certainly not the end of the story.
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