This morning I decided to go for a walk. The last couple days have been about traveling and spa-ing and eating and I was feeling really restless.
Off I set into the chill Louisiana morning. The temperature was the same here as it was in Flagstaff, which is wrong on many levels. Still, the sun was shining brightly and the breeze was light and invigorating and I longed for that sense of superiority one feels as one is out getting exercise while others are feasting.
The music was great. My back was a little achey but as I walked it worked itself out... and I wanted to run. I went back and forth in my mind... I have been warned to not run for a while until I'm farther along in physical therapy and my lower back is stronger. But then a really good song came on, and I just had to run. Had to!
So, I did. I felt rebellious for about 10 seconds then had to concentrate on breathing.
As much as I have complained about running in the past, I admit there were times I have loved it. Running along Lake Michigan in downtown Chicago from the Chicago River, around Shedd aquarium and back again was a beautiful run. Running in Phoenix early one morning and watching the world wake up in purples and reds reminded me of the beauty in every setting, when you look for it.
Running isn't something my body takes to... Asthma interferes, especially in Flagstaff where the altitude and the control burns sometimes conspire to suck the joy out of being outside at all, much less running. My back protests when I push too hard.
But sometimes, everything clicks together in some sort of magical sequence that requires my feet to burst into a run and stay there until my lungs burn and my shirt is soaked with sweat, and yeah, my back is aching but that is nothing compared to the sheer joy of moving through the air.
Sometimes I get mad at my body for not being everything I want it to be, and this morning as the sun shone on my back and my ponytail bobbed against my neck, all I could feel was gratitude for the ability to run. Not a talent and not something I will ever be good at, but I can do it. My body has survived so many challenges and has climbed every wall I needed to climb. There are days coming, just as there have been before, when I will not be able to run... or climb... or walk... and I pray my attitude will not be one of grief and loss but simple gratitude of knowing what it feels like when the breeze is light and fresh and my feet are warm from the ground and the music in my ears is perfect and all is well with the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment