Spidey Sense and Dancing and Drinking

I've debated over and over whether or not to share this.  It is the story of a close call, and a reminder that I am indeed, protected by God and surrounded by angels.  When it happened, it took me a few days to process it until I was able to chat about it with someone who understands these things -in this case, my awesome therapist.  Let's call her Roxanne, since that is her name.

Be warned, this takes a bit to tell properly.

In San Francisco this past weekend, my friend Athena and I went dancing.  This is rare, as the town I live in has very few dancing opportunities, so I was looking forward to it ever since we decided we needed to spend our Saturday night in the big city doing that.  We dressed up and looked amazing, BTW.

Fast forward to somewhere around midnight in a fun nightclub with great music to dance to and cool laser lights and delicious cheap drinks.  I'm not exactly sure how much I had to drink... dancing makes you thirsty, and Grey Goose and cranberry juice (heavy on the vodka) is easy to drink.  We were cabbing it everywhere, so I wasn't worried about driving.  And I very rarely drink alcohol so all in the all the evening was a rare treat in every way.

As we were dancing, our stuff piled on a box in a corner of the dance floor next to our drinks, I noticed a young man leaning against the wall near us and our stuff.  He was watching the crowd, and eventually I noticed he was watching me.  I smiled at him vaguely and mostly ignored him.  I felt bad he didn't seem to be having much fun.  He seemed a bit out of place.

A bit later he motioned me over, and me, feeling all warm and friendly and buzzed, stepped over.  He leaned over and shouted the usual bar nonsense into my ear, "You're so pretty, are you here with someone, do you live around here? blahblahblah"  I remember being really amused because I am old enough to be this kid's hip younger aunt ;-) and he was hitting on me.  But I was there to dance, so I waved bye and went back to the dancing.

(Quick shout out to my trainer, BTW... I was dancing for HOURS without a break.  Happy day!)

Eventually, he sat down on the box next to our stuff, and I'm dancing maybe three feet away.  I stepped over to take a drink and he patted the box next to him, so I sat down and we chatted some more, me sipping away on my drink.

I'm friendly, what can I say?

Still, he wasn't interested in dancing, so I popped back up and got back into the music.

A few minutes later, I felt someone grab my wrist, and start pulling me.  It was this guy, and as he pulled me to the back of the dance floor, I was thinking, like through marshmallow goo, it's just as crowded on this part of the dance floor, what's he doing?  His grip was pretty tight, but I didn't even try to pull away.

He stopped next to the exit, leaned in to face me and asked, "Do you want a drink?" I was even more confused, and shook my head, "No, I have one." Didn't he notice that when I was sitting next to him?

Then he grabbed my wrist again, really tight, and started to walk out the door.  This time, I dug my heels in and pulled away hard.  He turned and gave me this look.  I was really confused.  He looked, well, angry. Then he turned and walked out the exit.

I stood there, foggy and confused, and thinking, What just happened?   Five seconds later, Athena ran up and yelled, "He stole my phone!"  We ran out -the kid was long gone.

The next 20 minutes was spent talking to security, and then because we were DONE for the evening, Ethan called a car for us, and we headed back to the hotel.  Athena was understandably upset, saying over and over, "That jerk asked you to dance just so he could steal my iPhone!"  (She didn't use the word "jerk" BTW.)  Athena's phone had been laying out next to her purse.  Our purses hadn't been messed with.  (Yes, the iPhone shouldn't have been left out.  She learned her lesson.)  Me?  I just felt weird and a bit disconnected.

But the whole incident puzzled me.  He didn't need to go through all that just to steal an unprotected phone.  My recollection of the events are a bit fuzzy.  There is a bruise on my arm from where his thumb pressed in.

So I unpacked this with Roxanne, just trying to understand.  Normally, she is rather sedate while we talk, but this time, she got animated and leaned forward and said, "He was a predator, and you were his prey."

I must have looked disbelieving, because she said, "Look at me and hear me... I've worked with predators and this is exactly how they operate.  Two times he tested your defenses, and you showed him that yours weren't up.  What do you think would have happened if he'd managed to get you out that door?"

I felt a bit shaken and shrugged and said, "He just wanted the phone.  I could have defended myself!" to which she replied, "The phone was an easy opportunity.  Getting you out the door was his object.  You were unclear on what was happening to begin with, do you think you could have figured out you were in danger in time to do anything about it?  What if he had a friend waiting out there?  What if the reason you were foggy to begin with was that he had open access to what you were drinking since it was right there next to him?"

She continued, "Your spidey sense was trying to tell you to be protective of yourself and you quashed it down.  Never quash down the spidey sense!"

I was still processing that he hadn't been after the phone.  A sick feeling sank into my stomach as this fear, which had been floating around the back of my mind, was confirmed.

So we talked a bit more about appropriate behavior and expectations and listening to one's gut.  I left the session rather sober and contemplative.

As it was, the only thing we lost was a pricey phone.  It all could have turned out so very differently.

My guardian angels were working overtime that night.  I did not go out that door.

Thank you, thank you, God, for surrounding me with angels, and never, ever leaving me to face my perils alone.