Best Pep Talk

Today, I was really dragging.  I stayed up too late playing on FB, and then got the chance to talk to my BFF around midnight, who was slightly tipsy and chatty due to a work event.  But talking with her always puts me in a good mood, so it was fun.  Still, not a lot of sleep.

I barely dragged myself out of bed to go work out this morning.  I do try to work out pretty much every day so that when the time comes that something crops up and I CAN'T work out as planned, I don't feel like I'm falling behind.

Since I'm "running" a 5k next weekend, my emphasis has been to every day "run" 3.25 miles and try to beat my own time.  I'm slow. I'm not where I thought I would be.  I won't BE where I want to be, timewise, by race time.  I've reached the acceptance stage of grief, so I'm not killing myself to cut my time by the 5 minutes I would have to to make that magical number in my head.

Well, today, all my recent theme songs got hit on my ipod shuffle, and as I was cooling down and thanking God for giving me the ability to run on a treadmill and getting me out of bed and thanking my guardian angels for whispering love into my ears while I ran, the song You Never Let Go came on and I thought, hmm, God, are you trying to tell me something?

In the locker room, while I was naked and never want to acknowledge others in the room, a woman named Sarah said she had overheard Jayne and I discussing earlier in the week how we are prepping for the Sedona Marathon 5K.  I said, yeah, and she got all enthusiastic and said she was running the 10K portion. 

This young woman LOOKED like a runner -slim, small frame, requisite ponytail.  Then she added, "I've been doing this two years, and my time hasn't improved and I'm really slow.  But I don't care.  I don't do it for time.  I do it for fitness and it helps with my diabetes.  And eventually, it becomes actually kind of fun.  I'm running in the Color Run tomorrow!"  I was thinking, YOU have diabetes?

I said, "OMGosh, thank you for sharing that!  I'm like, having meltdowns thinking about this 5K.  I mean, they aren't allowed to be like, mean or anything, right??"

She did not even laugh at that, she said, "Oh no!  Everyone is super supportive and they cheer for everyone and it is really fun when you pass the finish line and everyone is excited and happy, and it TOTALLY doesn't matter what your time is.  The only person who is going to care is you!  I was scared at my first race, too, but it is so much fun that once you are done you'll think, 'Why was I ever worried?' and sign up for the next one!!"

We chatted a bit more, and when we parted she said, "I will see you before the race next week, but if I don't I'll look for you at the finish line.  You'll have fun!"

This is the first time in weeks that I'm actually looking forward to my first real 5k.  I will be slow and that's okay.  I just need to cross the finish line.  That part seems like it really will be fun.