Weighing In

Being a bit of an obsessive, it became clear pretty early on in the process of getting healthier that I really oughtn't weigh myself except at the doctor's office.  I almost can't HELP myself, and then suddenly I find myself getting worried about how many carbs are in a Eucharist host and constantly circling my fingers around my wrist to see if they go farther around now than 3 hours ago.

So, I stopped weighing.  It was hard but I did it, and it was very freeing.  Instead of counting carbs and calories, the focus became eating healthy and making permanent these new changes.

Then I discovered the scale at the gym.  If I take a different route to the locker room, it takes two seconds to hop on it and go on my way, while debating whatever number showed up.  Good?  Bad? What did it say yesterday?

Today, I hopped on in front of my dear Jayne, saying, "It only takes two seconds!" and she cocked her head and said, "Yes, but it takes more than two seconds of mental energy out of your day!"

Just yesterday I had a conversation that went something like this:

"Why are you weighing?  You aren't trying to lose weight, right?"

"Well, not really, but it would be nice..."

"You're undereating.  Weighing yourself isn't going to help you focus on what is important.  Focusing on eating healthy, without even caring about calories will help.  Choosing healthy things to eat will help."

"I'm just too tired to think about it."

"Maybe you're tired because you aren't eating enough?"

"Um, well, okay, maybe.  I'm a little freaked because I gained weight."

"You were supposed to gain weight, remember?  You haven't changed sizes.  You're strong and able to do lots more physically.  You'll lose all that if you keep this up."

It takes so so long to form good habits so that they ARE a true part of your life, especially when it goes against all the things you used to "know."  I remind myself that the scale has never been my friend -it's like that person you know that has a funny sharp sarcastic wit that can be entertaining, but you are always a bit afraid of them and when they will turn that meanness toward you.

So, in addition to swearing off Sugar Mamas for the duration of January, I shall swear off weighing that long.

Healthy choices lead to more healthy choices and I don't want to give mental energy to things that aren't worth it.