Prayers and Death and Stuff

I'm home sick today and so between sleeping and listening to my neighbors slam doors, I have lots of time to think.

My BFF Tracy got some horrible news today -her cousin, Lisa, died of a heart attack on Friday. Lisa was 43. She was in terrible health, obese, diabetic, stressed out, etc... But still, 43. Dang. Tracy tried to make me promise I would keep taking good care of myself because she would not handle my death well. Since I don't make promises I'm not sure if I can keep, I just said, "fingers crossed I will yet outlive you." She was content with that.

I'm disgruntled because my dear friend Hope is undergoing brain surgery on Thursday, a bit of a last ditch effort because her tumor is growing again and not responding to chemo, and we keep missing each other on the phone. She leaves me a message telling me she loves me and asking for prayers... I leave her a message telling her I love her and that she is always in my prayers... She leaves a message telling me I am her prayer warrior and she is counting on me... I leave a message telling her she is my faith anchor and without her I am adrift... You get the picture.

Hope and her husband Rob have been struggling with Hope's brain cancer for over 7 years now. Even though we've faced her mortality for over 7 years, whenever her death comes, I know I will not handle it well. Hope is my friend who reminds me to have faith. She reminds me to pray and bring my troubles to our loving God. What will happen to me when she isn't reminding me of these things?? I asked her that once and she said someone would likely take up the task, If i asked God for that help! Even as she faces all of this pain and illness, her faith does not waiver. No matter the outcome, she knows she is in the hands of God, and knows peace. It is the rest of us who are struggling.

Very few people get to be my age and not have had death strike near to one's heart. Parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, siblings, friends... Between illness, war, aging and accidents, it's a wonder how many still survive! Still, I long for a happy death for everyone I love... After a long life, surrounded by people who love them, secure in the knowledge of a life to come, peacefully accompanied by angels.

For now I shall tuck away my well-developed dark side and continue my prayers for healing for Hope, and peace for Tracy's family, and that God bubble wraps us all in His love, today and always.