Sugar High

Yesterday was my own personal holiday I call "Half Price Halloween Candy Day."  I did not celebrate it in my usual way, but for once kept a white-knuckle grip on my office chair and did not set foot in any store that sells candy.  I consider that a win!  I am patently ignoring the amount I actually consumed due to generous co-workers and their scandalously full bowls of sweets!

I am having a heck of a time getting back into normal eating.  I spent most of September living off of cookies, and much of October experimenting the limits my circulatory system has for refined sugar.

So, last night I was chatting with my Roxanne in bewilderment that all the usual tactics for getting back on track are simply not working.

So, we'd already covered that the more sugar one eats, the more one WANTS to eat.  It can be an addictive substance.  We'd covered that if I eat regular healthy food first, that cuts down on the ability to eat candy.

So, where is the downfall?

We narrowed it down to evenings.  Evenings are when I am least likely to eat healthy and most likely to binge on sugar. 

So, we went over my usual evening, from walking in the door, setting my stuff down, letting Roxy out, starting laundry, staring in the fridge, opening mail, remembering I started laundry and going back in and moving it along and then remembering I need to get my leftovers from lunch into the fridge and then noticing I only opened half the mail and then thinking, oh, wait, I need to eat, and then playing with Roxy and feeding her (because she is insistent I do so immediately) and then noticing I never hit the "run" switch on the washer and then noticing that all my workout clothes need to be washed, too and finally as I walk from room to room from half finished task to starting a new one, I give up the idea of a healthy meal and start in on whatever I don't have to think about.

When my ADHD meds wear off, somewhere around 6pm, usually, figuring out dinner just gets thrown into the mix.

It was like a light bulb went off over both our heads at the same time.  This really wasn't about emotional eating, it is about a disrupted structure that needs to be reestablished.

As a person with off-the-chart ADHD, I know I need structure in order to get anything accomplished.  Apparently, that "anything" includes eating properly.  With the disruptions of the last two months, the established structure had to be changed, and nothing ever replaced it.

So, we went over some ideas and I feel confident I will be back on track soon!